Finally it is ending.

Time passes by so fast that we don't even realize it is the end where we have to be separated and go to different ways. Sad as it seems but this is a part of life where people do come and go and the best thing we can do is to try our best to keep in touch as often as possible. Soon, we are going to face the society, a new place where we'll be meeting with new people and making new friends and so on. But this doesn't mean I'll be forgetting the times that I had with my wonderful coursemates, fac's mates and others who I have met in this few years. Even in my university and my family lifes, I do miss my Sabah friends a lot. Be it the closest or just random friends, I still miss it. Cause it is in my memories and I can't shake it off. Sometimes you would just have this sad feeling that makes you want to cry. But I never cry for a friend. Cause all my friends leave me with happy memories. So if you see me laughing sinisterly by myself, don't be afraid. I'm not pyscho. I'm just reminisce times that I had with some whacky people and stuffs that we did back then. One thing I enjoyed the most in my uni life is that I learn to be more evil than usual. But not in the sense of action, but with words. Hey, I'm a language student, remember? So, now I found that language is quite a useful tool to eventually you know, harm someone?Hihihihi! Not going to tell you what I did. With language. To all Language students, cheers to us that we can monopolize our capability that others can't. OK, back to my pathetic life, actually, I've met 2 great funny friends this sem. Well, not only 2. Others also. But both of them to me is much more significant. Because they can speak Hakka. And 1 of them can really tell very good lame jokes. Hihihihi~and he gives a lot of advices about men's perception and the way they think. I think I really learn a lot about typical men from him. Cause he's one of them too. And Karyn, 1 thing we have in common is we are addicted to Hup Seng soda beng. With Milo. After graduation, I think I'll miss them both dearly. Thanks to them I had a good laugh this sem. I think all of you do feel the same way,rite? It's quite heartbroken to separate from friends whi really shared good memories with you. And we always wished it wouldn't end.

私、子供の時。

I remembered that I stayed with an Indonesian maid when I was small. So, I started to pick up Malay at an early age, continue by picking up Cantonese with my mum, English with my dad, Malay with my brother, Mandarin with my school mates and when I'm 15 years old, Hakka with my best friend. I'm quite proud of myself at language ability especially Chinese cause I know how to speak and listen but not write. Everyone's quite surprised. Looking back when my mum forced me to attend a Chinese class when I was in Primary 4 I was hugging this pillar in front of my house crying while my maid try to persuade me and pull me to go to class. I still remember my childhood friend, a Malay girl and his little brothers and sisters. We always played 'lompat tali' and 'lumba lari' together with 'kaki ayam'. And there's another Bumiputra friend, S, who's quite rich where we always share our Doraemon comic together and spent the whole day only at his garden playing hide and seek ended up being bitten by dozens of mosquitoes. And the most fun of all, to play prank around the neighbourhood. So much fun there was, but to really find a sweet family memory, quite tough. My mum works from 12pm-12am.My dad's always outstation. My brother? Of course go find girlfriend la. So, I spent most of my time with my Indonesian maid and watch Indonesian horror movie with her. The only time I enjoyed quality family time is on Sunday. Sometimes even without my dad. Go to pasar pagi and have breakfast with my mum and my aunt then afternoon follow my mum for her mahjong session at my aunt's house. Quite boring actually so I actually extended my own social network by getting to know my aunt's neighbour. That's quite a part of my primary school's life. Oh ya, I remembered an event when I was in kinder garden, in the manhole there's a lot of tadpoles after it rains. So during our recess we would be outside at the garden to play around the playground. My favourite activities was to catch the tadpoles and put it into my friends shirt (mostly girls: cause they hate the slimy and yucky feeling) and I'll end up in the disciplinary board for misbehave. Huh~so much for my childhood~teehee~~ (^v^)v

Reminiscence on little Timothy~

Everytime when I saw kids the same age as my son, I would remember his wicked and naughty smile. I can't help myself to miss him even more now since he started to stick closely to me every weekend when I return from KL. He's a very smart boy. If he wanted to eat something and he can't get it himself, he would make this sad-puppy eye looking at you and hint that he wanted something. Then, you couldn't help yourself but to fall for that cute little devil face by giving him what he wants. Currently he caught some cough and flu. Pity him. Today was a bit sad because when it's time for me to leave and return to KL he was sleeping so he didn't manage to send me to the bus station. It was quite a heavy feeling for me to leave him as he was sick and the guilt of can't be there to take care of him deepened. I really really had this wish that I wasn't that smart. I can't roll in into the university then I might lead a normal and a plain housewife's lifestyle. The only thing that bothers me is what should I cook for lunch and dinner, is the cloths dry yet, or maybe, should I teach ABC 1st or 1,2,3 to Timothy?Not like here, worrying about assignments, tests, quizzes, exams, lecturer's mood and so on. Maybe Timothy too prefer that I stayed at home so I can play with him more often. He's a sweetheart actually (if the Devil's not awaken) as he would always make this cute yet cool little faces outside and that makes those aunties melt. Maybe he would be a ladykiller when he grows. Even when I'm angry he would try to stop a little and look at my face then starts to make this funny faces to make me laugh again. Actually, having 2 kind of different lifestyle wasn't a bad idea at all. At least I wouldn't be bother to care bout my university for 3 days and wouldn't bother about my house for 4 days. That makes a week. Quite a balance for my phsycological needs. I really hope that after I graduate I could work nearby my home so I could face him 24/7 cause missing him really can be a torture sometimes. Also, I don't want Timothy to grow up where his mother is not often around him. I wish to be at his side everytime. \(*v*)/ Love you, Tim.

What's life without a stand?

A lot of things had happen during my semester break. One of it is that I'm in my 2nd pregnancy. And it's a baby GIRL.Well, having another child, although it's not in my planbook yet but it makes no harm to my current lifestyle since i'm used to it like what I did during my 1st pregnancy. So I'm quite happy bout it. But some individuals doesn't seem very pleased after hearing bout it. 1st: My lecturer. OK. I understand why you're pissed but hey, I can guarantee you that I'm going to graduate next year and I won't delay any of my classes. 2nd: My mom. Well, you know. She wish that I could finish my studies but hey, nobody expect any accident to occur rite? Since it had happened already why making such long face instead of being happy? I don't really like when people think that if something had happen there's no turning point or other options to look at. As if there's only bad things can happen. I had an argument with my mom this afternoon after she babbles bout who's going to take care my 2nd child and how am I going to finish my studies. So once again I have to present a long presentation telling my mum that I have enough time and energy to finish my studies so don't poke over into this matter anymore. We're having some watermelon that my aunty cut to half this noon so while she's trying to babbles me I asked her 1 Question. "Can I have half of the melon that's still inside the fridge?"then my mum ask "Why?" And I told her, "Since you complain so much bout my 2nd child then why don't I just abort my baby?" Then everyone keeps silence till I left. I hate it when people have comments but not to think that they themself have a lot of negativity on things that they judge. But I'm so sorry mom. If you think you can shake my stand and ruin what I hold on, not a chance. I'm not that weak as you think. If you're not being supportive then there's no reason why I should continue sharing my thoughts with you anymore. I'm so sorry.

For the sake of the little lifes.

It's been a long time that I had not touch my blog so after reading 1 mail I've decided to write something on it. There's 1 night when me and my husband was sleeping peacefully suddenly we heard a loud "Thud" on the marble floor. And there's when we heard our little baby Tim fell down from the bed and he cried out hysterically because of the pain. The bed's height is really quite high from the normal bed. So I guess that really hurt somemore to get hit on the marble floor while sleeping. Timothy's sleeping habit is very bad. He'll rotate 360 degree around the bed eventhough he's asleep. But when we heard the "Thud" sound my heart really fell off to the ground. Seeing him crying in pain makes my heart bleeds. I couldn't imagine now life without Tim. But when I read a mail from a friend of mine, I was devastated. Looking at the pictures where the babies were abandoned and left dead around the streets really a sad sight for me to continue scrolling for the next pictures. Some are wrapped in cloths or shirts and cap but some are just left stark naked with their umbilicial cord attached and some even started to rot in the middle of the forest. As a human, I ask all of you. Do you have the heart to carry out such things with your own bare hand?It's a life. A helpless small little life. If you don't want to take care a kid then just don't mess around and fuck around without condoms! Condoms have it's own reasons of existence. People don't just invent rubber balloons for nothing. Going through the labor pain and all the time that I'd spent on my child I know it was a hard task but his existence in my life have opened another chapter in my book of life. His laughter, smiles and giggles can't be found in any other parts of my life. His existence is very significant to me. Without him, there is no me. With him in my life I learn to carry more responsible. I've become stricter, naggier, and loves to control. I have learn to love more than to hate. To be happy rather than to be sad. He's my everything now and forever. I love you Tim.

Guess I'm too free to publish post this week. My sister in law came back to the house with her daughter and son. My son was so happy because finally there's someone who is from the same category with him. So cute~my son likes other kids to accompany him. And believe me~he's generous when playing with them. I could not remember or have any idea where he got the idea of sharing. That really amused me. But he can be a little devil if provoked. He really resembles me a lot now till I can't even find any reason to deny it anymore. Is just like looking at the smaller me and in the little boy version. And now I hope that i won't get any daughter. Because I don't want her to turn into like me. Because I don't think I have any girly or moral behaviour to be her model. So I am really afraid that she'll turn like me. A crazy one~! But I wonder eventhough all my child is boy,can I really be their role model? I'm afraid I can't. Cause I'm the type of person who'll be driven in by lust and desire which is quite bad. I'm trying to control it so that I could really assure myself that I can be their teacher and their mother. But I can't. I'm a devil myself. An angel in disguise. I hope there's light that could shine up through my path so I can understand myself better and to be a better adult. I promise you Timothy~mummy will be a good people,OK?

Love is on the Air

Ever remembered how was your first love was? I remembered the first person who I really admired but got rejected though. He was a nice boy. He didn't really rejected me in the harsh way but rather try not to hurt me. But I wished he could be a little more straightforward then. So after that, I met with my first boyfriend, D. He's from my Karate club and the only time I was fascinated by his charm is during the Karate training. He was good at it. Well, of course that's not my main reason joining in Karate. So, he was sweet and soft but the only negative thing about him is indecisive. I'm kinda big sister to him but at first I thought it was OK but I'm getting tired after the 3 years relationship so I decided to cut it off. Well, it did made an impact to me but I didn't imagined it to recover so fast. After that I met with my husband. Well, I like him because he's kinda cute (personality ) and humorous. And I know that he really cared a lot bout me eventhough he didn't show any affections. He's kinda boring if you're thinking to get a romantic, understanding and sweet guy next door type. He's as blur as a squid, as hard as a wood and not very understanding at all. And one thing I hate him the most. His jealousy. Well, I always thought that only women can get jealous at times but meeting him has proven my hypothesis was wrong. Well, to start with my character I was a tomboy. So mostly I hang around with guys. This is the most common facts to be known if you're an AS students. You'll never see me in the shopping complex hanging around with girls and shop around. So, back to my hubby here, it seems that he was kinda culture shock to find out that I've been always hanging around with guys in U. And he always argued with me that no guys will be friendly with a girl without any further intention. I doubt that but I do believe people blindly but of course I would never get myself into that trouble. I'm not that stupid. But somehow I don't feel all guys are like that. I believe my gang wouldn't do something like that. Being a friend I'll put trustworthy at the 1st place. But if you provoked me, Astalavista Babe~! No chances given. I don't know why I'm like this but I always carry a motto with me. "Revenge is Sweet". Like how it goes with My Chemical Romance second album "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge". Friendship is meant to be cherished, not to be betrayed or taken for granted. So everyone out there, be blessed.