For some reasons, knowing the fact that I'm pregnant I didn't really feel anything...like some would cry, scared, and afraid that how the society is going to judge them. Well, basically I don't really care how you would judge me but 1st, before you start to judge people why don't you judge yourself 1st? So what? I'm pregnant. What do you want from me? Having a baby is not a big deal but some of them would like "Oh, you're pregnant?" with the sinister eyes and though they say it was OK but actually they're not. Bitching at your back, stabbing at your back. SO what? Go on and smear me name. Like I care. For me, what comes around goes around. Yeah, like one of Justin Timberlake's song. Having a baby is my decision and who the H**l you think you are that you have the rights to judge me? You don't know who I am neither do I want to know you are. Why just can't people respect other people's rights and privacy? It is so sick to know that there's people who watch you and judge you but then they don't really have any idea who they are judging. So what if pictures of Edison and other actresses is making out together? No big deal. They're adults. What's with this culture shock? Stop acting like " Oh, I'm so naive. I have no idea what is sex all about. It is so dirty." Yeah rite. Go on and kiss my A*s. Britney Spears used to do shows in Disney Channel and sworn not to have sex before marriage and so what? There she goes~! That's the point. So what? She still earn big bucks and go around doing her things. Do she really care bout how you think bout her. People is still people OK. It doesn't make any differences between you and me. You'll F**k one day and you'll have kids too. Soon you'll know the wonderfulness that a child can bring to you. Although my mum was kinda reluctant about my marriage but then now, I can see that she had change her opinion bout my husband. It's glad to know she had accepted him. And my mum love my little boy so much. But my dad didn't get to see his grandson. He left us around April.

Few days has gone and my mum's condition seems to be very emotional. Well,in fact I knew that she will go against my decision but I'm a very stubborn type so the more that you are against with my decision the stronger that I'm standing for what I'm believing in. My mum's relatives called me and ask me for an abortion. I told them. I will not bear the sins of killing my own flesh and blood. And I'm taking full responsibilities for him. And so my dad came back from outstation and my mum told him. THE 1st thing he asked was how are you going to deal with your school? I said I had done all the paper works that are needed and UM granted me to be absent for the next semester. Then he said " Who is going to take care of the baby?" And I told him to rest assured that everything is on the plan and he does need not to worry bout my studies and my baby. He felt that I'm being very protective while talking to him as if I had planned everything and like I'm presenting my proposals to a big event. He kept silence for a while and he looked at me and said, " Do whatever you want." I never expected that he will go easy on me but this was pretty easy. My brother knew it then and he stopped talking to me. I had expected it since he was those goody goody boy and always pretending to be the older ones to protect each and every one of us. But he also knew that whatever he's trying to say is not going to be consider cause once I'm stuck to a decision there's no turning back. And the gap between me and my family suddenly drifting further and further away.....